Pregnancy Fashion Faux Pas

I was taking the escalator up to the food court today to get lunch. On her way down was a woman, holding a newborn in her arms. This child was *tiny*, maybe 3-4 weeks old, at most. She was hanging out with a couple of people, and clearly having a ball. Good for her! A new mommy needs to get out and remind herself that post-partum reality is NOT all about lacking sleep, changing diapers at 3am, and walking endlessly with the child until they fall back to sleep.

But good grief, the outfit has got to go. Confiscated. Something. Where are the Fashion Faux Pas Police when I need them? My retinas now have holes burned into them from the mere sight. The skin tight crop top and matching hot pants on a 3-4 week post-partum woman who clearly gained more than the typically doctor-prescribed 35 pregnancy pounds is not appropriate.

Why?

1. A pregnancy belly is nice and taut because of your little bundle of joy inside it, and can be considered beautiful and even sexy (to some). On the other hand, your post pregnancy belly is most unflattering. It's stretched out, and it hangs limply off your frame like a deflated balloon. Ask me how I know. Unless you are a post-partum super model with a full time nanny, a personal chef, a personal trainer, and you didn't gain more than 10 pounds during your pregnancy, you should not be wearing this type of shirt at this stage of post-partum.

2. Hot pants, like crop tops, are usually reserved for teenagers (as they have no body fat, usually), super models (see point 1 above), and woman who are in ridiculously incredible shape because they are pure athletes and/or workout extra hard and eat right. Once again, hot pants on a post partum woman who is not one of the prescribed women above is a sight that significantly increases the need for service dogs in our population.

That said, please, enjoy your time out with your peeps as that's very important for your post-partum mental health. But PLEASE... dress responsibly!!! Else you just accentuate the fact that you are a beached whale. Again, ask me how I know (3 months until I reach beached whale status). ;-)